`How to Kill a Lion`
How to Kill a Lion
Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Kanbay Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
Infy method:
hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
he will die eventually of frustration...
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
Infy method:
hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
he will die eventually of frustration...
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score > 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion ..
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score > 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion ..
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Patni method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat Edli,Dosa and Vada
No water..
No hindi speaking ppl... No good food
No hindi speaking ppl... No good food
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
1. Hire a lion.....
2. Give him an electronic appraisal. Ask him to wait for a week.
3. After 2 months tell him the hard disk crashed and makes him fill the appraisal form again.
4. Give a paper with increment of 1000 rs after 6 months with effect from next month.
5. Tell some story�..And ask him to wait for another one year.
The Lion dies of waiting
