Funny Marriage Quotes........
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette --
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry --
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi --
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
-- Socrates --
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
-- Dumas --
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-- Sigmund Freud --
I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
-- Anonymous --
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A
little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-- Henny Youngman --
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years."
-- Sam Kinison --
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
-- James Holt McGavran --
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me, and the second one didn't."
-- Patrick Murray --
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Nash --
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once...
-- Anonymous --
You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman --
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield --
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
-- Milton Berle --
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
-- Anonymous --
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-- Anonymous --
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
